mothers day happiness and sadness 


mothers day. I told my mom how much I love her and appreciate everything that she has done and continues to do for me. she really has been there to encourage me. she is a strong woman and I look to her for advice all the time. 

I let my bf mom know happy mother’s day as well. we plan on spending some time with them this afternoon.

so why I’m i feeling so down? 

I was told happy mother’s day by my bf. but his son.. won’t even recognize me as his step mom. I know he loves me and likes spending time with me. but he won’t even say it to me. I know they are just words but in the same time I need to hear them. yes, his dad did say something him and I said you can’t force him to say anything to me. I don’t want to force him to say happy mother’s day to me. 

even tho mothers day is an awesome holiday. it makes me sad.

I’m competing with a woman that isn’t even present. my bf sons mom. she isn’t around but I’m constantly having to compete with her. 

how do you compete with someone that isn’t around and doesn’t her son??

I can’t win. I know he is her son and she will always be his mother. I can’t change and really I don’t want to. but I feel like I should be given some credit.

the first thing he says to me is I’m calling my mom today to tell her happy mother’s day because she is the best mom. she does so much for me. I love her so much. 

I’m not going to ruin his image of his mom. I won’t tell him how she really is. or how we have to do a lot of damage control that he doesn’t know. I won’t tell him how much we had to fight for him to live with us because he was unsafe. I won’t tell him that she is irresponsible and can’t be trusted to have him over the weekend. 

he doesn’t need to know those things about his mother. he just needs to love her. 

maybe I’m jealous of no matter what he loves her. no matter how many times she lets him down and we are there to pick up the pieces that he continues to say she is the best mom. 

I’m sure one day he will understand. until then I support his thoughts.  I might not agree with them, but I won’t ruin his image of his mother. 

is there any step parents that deal with this? how do you survive? what do you say? 

I feel guilty for even having these thoughts and feelings. but I gotta get it out there. 

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